The Las Vegas Courtesan

Sounds funny but it’s true. After working out here for years I could write down every hotel’s room number sequences, tell you which tower it’s in, if there is security downstairs, where the elevators are, and other useless trivia. Well, I take that back, I can never get Caesar’s Palace room numbers right and downtown hotels can get tricky since I don’t go there all that often. As many rooms as I have seen I should start working for hotel websites and doing their reviews of the rooms. I guess I would have something to fall back on when I quit doing my current job. Ok… well maybe not.

I’m going to do something different and kind of humorous and rate some of Las Vegas’ hotel rooms from a whore’s point of view. I’d love to hear your input too if I missed anything

Hotel Room I Was Most Surprised About:
The Fremont Hotel and Casino. As far as downtown casinos go, The Golden Nugget has been the nicest ones downtown for a while and especially more so now that Landry’s owns them. I went to the Fremont on a call and felt like I was in a different hotel when I got off of the elevator and was surprised when I walked into the room. The company that owns this hotel caters to a lot of Hawaiians so generally all of the customers I have seen there have been nice and can afford to have a good time. By no means is this one of the nicest hotels in Vegas, but I am sure it’s a bargain for the room. I have to also mention the suites at Barbary Coast. Their regular rooms are ho hum but I have been in two suites that have totally shocked me on how nice they were.

Most Overrated Hotel:
Man this is a difficult one.. I am saying it’s a tie between the MGM (excluding the new West Wing hotel rooms which are awesome) and the Four Seasons. Yes I really did just say the famous Four Seasons. I might take my review on the Four Seasons back after the next time I go there because the pictures on their website of the rooms look much better now. The last time I went on a call there (been in the suites and regular rooms) I was surprised at how plain and bare the rooms were. The regular room looked almost identical to the standard Mandalay Bay rooms (which is the same building, just certain floors are for Four Seasons guests) but a little simpler. As far as the MGM goes, they tend to charge an arm and a leg for rooms that need to be updated and are just simple, but they can get away with it because of the events they hold there makes it convenient for tourists. I have also been in customer’s rooms that try to order any sort of room service and the wait always seems to be about an hour. I personally try to stay out of the MGM due to their extreme dislike of working girls like me. If you’re a john and want girls to come to you, I would book somewhere else since so many girls refuse to step foot in there. You will probably end up with someone you don’t like or someone who is real new.

Worst Hotel Room:
The Excalibur. This hotel should be just blown up just because it is an eye sore and the rooms are even worse than the gaudy exterior. The rooms have a horrible 70’s brown carpet and everything else is just ugly. Even though the Tropicana is pretty darn bad, I would much rather stay there than be run over by strollers at the Excalibur. It seems like they are doing some remodeling but I don’t think it will be much improvement unless they gutted the whole place. I have to note that I think this hotel is just the worst on the Strip, though some downtown hotels can beat the Excalibur hands down for the worst.

Last but not least…

The Overall Best Room:

I would have to give that to The Hotel at Mandalay Bay. Yes the rooms at Bellagio, Wynn, Venetian, Caesar’s and Paris are all nice but I think this room gives you the most for a standard room. Every room there is a true suite (unlike the Rio which is advertised as an all-suite hotel but really they are just one large room with a couch) and has a living room area with a separate bedroom. Every room has a nice mini-bar, full bathroom with tub and shower, half bath in living area, a desk with a fax machine, two flat panel TV’s, and one small LCD TV in the bathroom. It’s has a more modern look and what’s even better is the lack of security downstairs to sneak up your date for the night.