The Las Vegas Courtesan

So the hotel’s opening was pushed back not once, not twice but three or more times to New Years Eve. Even then it was only opened really for Jay-Z’s new club 40/40 to have its New Year’s event (and suddenly I realize I didn’t even see this club when walking through). The rooms were rumored to not be available until mid-January or later but hey! Come see our casino! And… well that’s about it.

The “grand opening” was last weekend (January 17-19th) and included a star studded event with Diana Ross, Seal and hosted by the Venetian’s Wayne Brady. The rooms (still not all of them) were available for booking and Barney’s New York opened the 19th.

Sometime in the past week I finally got a call to the Palazzo and I was excited! I drove into their underground garage totally forgetting the laws of cells phones and that they don’t work underground. “Ah well”, I thought, “I’ll just go to the casino”. Still no service. I had to walk practically out to the Strip by the lovely statue that looks like three women carved out of ice to make a call and get the information on the clients. That’s annoying. Me and another girl meet the customers to go upstairs and we walk by where an under construction gift shop is being put in… jackhammers pounding away and everything. We go up and both notice how nice the hallways are with etched mirrored glass and had cool blues and browns for the colors. When we were let in the door we both said, “wow looks almost the same as the Venetian main tower remodeled rooms”. The call doesn’t work out for me so I leave and went to wandering around the rest of the place.

So here are the pros to the place:
-The casino is nice and open instead of squished looking like the Venetian. The style is like the Wynn meets the cheaper local’s South Point Casino (which is not a compliment, by the way) but with a different color scheme.
-Love the colors and the original looking chandeliers
-I like how the garage escalators dump you out into the middle of the casino floor but isn’t obtrusive
-Liked the indoor waterfall and how it connects you to the Grand Canal Shops of the Venetian
-Liked the look of the lounge where they have live acts perform at night.

What I didn’t care for:
-Out of 50+ shops there are only about 3 open: Coach, Barney’s, and Farragamo. The rest is empty and … sad. Only the Grand Lux Café and Morel’s Steakhouse are open. It made the place look pathetic and half assed. Hall after hall of shops were closed, half done, or not done at all. When Steve Wynn opened his casino across the road every single high end shop and restaurant that was announced was open the first day the rest of the hotel was open. That’s classy. A half opened hotel just seems cheap.
-Jersey Boys the musical isn’t opening until April and the area around the theater looks like a disaster (which is by the main casino floor)
-The faux sky ceiling is overdone in Las Vegas. Caesars started it in the 90’s and every other casino has done it since… so… move on major resorts. Find something else original and not so cheesy looking.

-I sadly think it’s one of the worst looking buildings to come to the Strip. It looks like a big hospital to me. A big huge monolith with some faux cement blocks that make up the exterior to cover up the huge steel beams that they constructed the building from.

Ok I am done with my rant.

So the conclusion? Save some $ and stay at the Venetian sister property. The rooms are the same and the Palazzo is just a short walk away.

Here ya go… my rule #2 of etiquette when calling a girl in Las Vegas

#2:  When you are quoted a minimum on the phone, have it when the girl arrives.

It’s as easy as that! You’d think all of the shopping around and talking people do when trying to find a girl that they would have at least the amount quoted on the phone. Otherwise, why bother? When customers call me to inquire how it all works in Las Vegas I quote them a minimum price to get me there, naked, comfortable and start some dances. Since I am very careful about my choice of words this is all I am able to really solicit legally over the phone. I explain that any other entertainment and time is negotiated in person and in private (I have to make sure that I am not going to be soliciting a vice officer) but if for whatever reason things don’t work out when I first show up.. I leave at no charge to people.

My #1 pet peve is when people call me and say that my minimum is okay and understand what that all entails. Then when finally meeting up with said client, they don’t even have the minimum and want to try to re-negotiate that price. I make it clear and they agree and understand.. then don’t? No girl likes their time to be wasted and you never know when you’ll get a girl who has a short fuse. I don’t but not every girl is nice as sugar and spice.

This is a very important rule! Always be courteous and have the minimum if you schedule an appointment.

I get lots of calls from lots of different people from my web ads. Some nervous and fumbling over words only to get out, “how much?” while others are pompous and act offended that I just don’t incriminate myself over the phone with a detailed menu. Whatever the case may be, here’s a few pointers I am making into a mini-series of entries of what NOT to do when calling.

#1: Don’t book a call many months in advance
This just makes me want to giggle when I get calls in December about some trip they are planning for August. I ask where they think they might be staying or what is the purpose of their trip and they have no clue. Yes, I do think they are just calling to see if there is really a girl in Vegas who is going to answer the phone but sometimes I think the guy just gets so excited they are escaping from whatever torturous town they are living in to come to Sin City and decide to line up a girl *first* before anything else.
Yesterday I got a call from a girl here locally who is a newlywed and “more experienced” than her husband (who is many years younger). She said she wanted it to be a surprise for him for their next years anniversary. I said “Oh when is your anniversary?” she replies, “January 25th or so”. I thought to myself, “oh okay.. in a week which is for their upcoming year” but I decide to make sure and ask, “so in a week?”
“Oh no.. next year.. like 2009”
It took a lot to hold that giggle back. Well, at least she will have time to save for it.

And for your information, the longest time from a booked call to the actual meet up date in person has been 2 weeks, tops. Maybe in other cities pre-booking so far in advance works, but here where people’s attention span goes right out the window the second they land at McCarren Airport.. it just never ends up working out.

Stay tuned for the rest of this series!

Yes it’s actually raining in the desert. I love the rain lots except when I am working. It turns a night that could be good into a no call night. If you don’t have people walking down the strip or around town then you have no way of reaching them with advertising except with Internet or Yellowpages. Only one of the companies I work for now even use the Yellowpages and the rest rely on advertising on the streets. The reason why more companies don’t use the phone book is because of the incredibly expensive rates you have to pay every six months to keep an ad. Takes so many calls constantly to even break even on those ads. I understand why most companies stick to people passing out cards or little magazine stands.

The only call I received tonight was from my Eros ad from a guy at Circus Circus who had a bad listening problem. I really hate it when people call and don’t say hi or “my name is” and immediately just ask, “what do you charge per hour”. I respond with, “Well I like to come meet you and talk to you in person first but my entertainment starts at $$ and goes up from there. I don’t have any specific rates for hour or half hour it just ranges depending on the level of entertainment.” I know quite a few girls in other cities work on an hour or half hour rates, but what girls ends up doing around here is charging for whatever act they perform. I do take my time and all because I want the customers to enjoy themselves and not think I am just running off. Anyway, this guy kept pushing me to say what I do for my minimum price and what sexual acts does it include. I say that is illegal and I don’t like to talk on the phone anyway like I said before. I suggested for me to come by and meet him under no obligation (to perform my little tests so I feel more comfortable) but he just responded with an “I’ll call you back”. He called back 10 minutes later again asking me more pointed sexual questions and how much to get out of the atm. I again repeated that I would love to come meet him but I cannot answer his questions without coming over first. He said another “I’ll call you back”, but of course he didn’t. I am sure I frustrate a lot of guys by saying that I would like to come over first but they have to understand that no one can talk about sexual acts over the phone. In the end, maybe I am the only frustrated one