The Las Vegas Courtesan

So you did it! You finally got the courage up and called one of those cards on the Strip a site from the Internet and decided that the fee sounded good and you told the girl or agency to send you someone.  A lot of people are nervous when they have to meet a girl and don’t know what to do or how to act. People are especially worried when the hotel they are staying at requires the guest to have someone pick them up downstairs and show a room key.  Hopefully I can give some good pointers on how you should and should NOT greet your date.

Sometimes when I meet with people downstairs their manners make me cringe and want to hide in a hole. By way of examples, some things you shouldn’t do:

Don’t greet your girl with a handshake

This sounds so obvious but so so many times when I find the guy who I am meeting he sticks out his hand to shake mine. I have to do a polite grabbing of the hand and pulling him close for a hug because I am supposed to “know” this person not just meeting them and going straight upstairs.  It looks so obvious and makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.   What should you do? Go to the girl and maybe give a small hug, or say, “Hi how are you? Did you have fun tonight?” or something else that makes it seem like we know each other.

Don’t ask the girl in a loud boisterous voice, “Are you so-and so!?”

It’s okay to make sure you have the right girl, but keep your voice down and be a little more discreet. Also don’t introduce yourself as, “Hi, I’m John it’s so nice to meet you” for the same reasons as above.  Save the introductions for in the room behind closed doors. There will be plenty of time getting to know each other once you get upstairs.

Don’t ever ever bring up money downstairs

Another one that should be obvious but happens a lot –  If you are confused on fees and such, just take the time and ask the girl in private once you are upstairs your room. This will save a lot of embarrassment for both you and the girl.

If you don’t like the girl don’t make a big scene about it downstairs

If you asked for a tall hot blonde and the agency was foolish by sending you a short Hispanic girl, for example, don’t make a scene about it (especially in front of security at the elevators). Either take a walk with her and explain in a low voice you were looking for a different type of girl or politely take her upstairs and explain. By taking her upstairs you can explain what you want more clearly, and if you feel so inclined, giving her gas/taxi money would be polite as well. Girls just go where they were told to go by the phone girls and usually have no idea what request you gave to the agency, so don’t take it out on the escort. She is usually just as confused or upset as you are, as her time has been wasted too… just like yours has.

One thing you definitely should do:

Give the girl on the phone (when you must get them downstairs) a good description of what you look like and get a good description of the girl.. maybe even change clothes so you don’t look like everyone else wearing a black shirt and jeans. This makes it easy for both parties to meet in a timely manner, reduces any confusion, and most importantly helps keep everything very discreet and professional.

I hope this helps some people when getting a girl in Vegas from an agency or the Internet. It’s okay if you don’t know how things work but understanding these pointers helps a lot so no one feels embarrassed!

Well lets face it… I could go on an on about the things I *don’t* like to hear (of course there are tons!) but hey… that would be negative and who wants that!?

Top Three Things I LIKE To Hear (in no particular order):

1) “I left the fee out for you”

 When I go on calls for agencies, the most unsexy thing is being asked a bunch of questions about something that was already was explained to them on the phone before I was even called to come over. The job of the girl who books the appointment is to properly pitch the guy and be ready for when the girl gets there.. that way the fun can begin right away! Every girl likes to come in and see a prepared guy with at least the fee. I never mind if people only have the fee and know they have to tip but wait to go to the ATM until I show up. A lot less hassle!

2) Being told during a large bachelor party by the organizer, “If someone in our party is being rude to you, come and get me”

As I have said before, there is always one asshole at every bachelor party. The sad part is when the other friends don’t tell that one guy to act right, and it ends up ruining the whole vibe in the room. It’s always comforting if the organizer knows some of his friends can be rude, and doesn’t mind telling them to behave.

3) Without asking the guy says, “I’m going to hop in the shower first, make yourself comfortable”

   I always make people wash up before hand. Some people take full showers when I ask and some people just wash their genitals. I really hate asking sometimes because I think people wonder if I am only asking because I think they are gross or that they stink, and that’s hardly the case. It makes it much more comfortable for me when people volunteer way ahead of my request.

Top Three Things I DON’T LIKE To Hear (in no particular order):

1) “I mean, we’re good looking guys and all.. I’m sure you wouldn’t charge us as much as some other guys”.

  This statement really makes it hard for me to not roll my eyes. I have to say that a pretty large majority of people who call for girls in Las Vegas are in their mid 20’s-late 30’s. Most guys this age assume that the ONLY type of guys who call are 50+ and have some sort of weight problem. I don’t know where they get this from, but it is definitely not the majority. A lot of people who visit Las Vegas are conventioneers, yes, but the other half of guys who visit are younger and eager to party. The nice way I like to respond to their vain comment is, “I don’t discriminate against who you are, your age, your weight, or where you stay and adjust my pricing to each category. I keep it fair!” heh.

2)  “Money is not an issue”

     Surprisingly when I hear this comment, money ALWAYS becomes an issue. You’d think that it would be like, “Oh well okay” and things go smoothly, but actually when I hear this comment usually the call doesn’t work out. This comment is also usually followed by:

3) “So… how much is it?”

     How much is it for what? So many people have different requests and needs, it’s all negotiable. I don’t have a set price and I know most girls don’t have a set in stone sticker amount for a session. Some people want sex, but want it just quick and fast. Some people want sex but want a whole hour, as many times, and also a long blow job. Some people want something in the middle. Some people don’t want sex at all and are afraid to go that far. I also get, “you know what I want”. If reading minds was so easy.. then I would have a straight answer and heck.. everything would be a lot easier! That would be awesome!

Yea tough economic times this and tough times that. The economic situation is the new excuse for clients. I giggle every time I hear someone scoff at tipping for entertainment claiming, “Don’t you know we’re in a recession?” Uhm, maybe so but men still pay for fun so no you don’t get a freebee! I know that casino revenues are down, I know strippers are getting lonely in the clubs, but I think people still know that paying for a girl for sex is a better value than blowing it downstairs or in the club. Yes, it has become more difficult and yes the fall in Las Vegas is a rollercoaster (when *isn’t* this town a rollercoaster?) but overall I have tried to deal by having patience. It seems to be my best trait and it ends up paying off. Sometimes things are out of my control (like clients tonight being overdrawn or forgetting their credit card and ID at the strip club they were just at) but I tend to sit it out and try harder than most other girls. I have tried ditching the more picky and stingy side of me… definitely a positive lesson to learn.

Moving onto something more interesting! Thanks to Simon who emailed me this link to an article on Scientific American about why men buy sex. I found it fairly interesting and thorough but it also made me realize: I’m glad I am a sex worker in the United States. Sounds odd but from the article and the many stories I hear from clients who gloat about getting a girl (or two) all night for $20 in Thailand, or the German clients who get seriously upset when they don’t get sex for the agency fee (since intercourse is often times approximately $100 or less), I couldn’t imagine working some place where I didn’t feel much value due to the amount of money I made. That is also one of the reasons why I felt so bad when I read how much Amanda Brooks was making on her clients at Bellas Ranch. I would feel like less of a person if the money I was making didn’t add up to the work I did. That, to me, is abusive. Anyway, I went off a tangent but the main point is it’s a pretty good article. I think most people here in Las Vegas get girls because they are tired of the games girls play at the clubs and want the no-hassle/no strings attached approach. I think it’s a good idea! (of course)

So the fight with Ricky Hatton I talked about last time didn’t really end up being as nutty as the last fight he had here in Las Vegas. I think it was because the contender wasn’t some huge name like Mayweather, and so all of our brothers from across the pond didn’t see a reason to come to Sin City this year. I am sure the current exchange rate didn’t help since last time it was over 2 to 1 pounds versus dollars. I still did okay, but I wasn’t running around like crazy like the previous experience.

Since I am leaving out of town early this year for the holidays (I usually wait until the National Finals Rodeo leaves since it becomes a ghost town) I am having to hustle every day until next Sunday… which included working Thanksgiving night. Don’t have a pity party or anything because I still had turkey and stuffing at a friends house, but immediately went to work after that. Was a so-so night and was definitely better than not working at all. It worked in my favor that not many girls were working so for the few calls that did come in, I got a lot of them.

Speaking of the rodeo, I’d like to give a helpful bit of information for all of you tourists that want to save a buck or two and wonder “hey when is the cheapest time to visit Vegas?” The answer is: The day after the NFR (National Finals Rodeo) ends. This year it’s the 6th of December through the 13th. So if you really want the cheapest Vegas vacation.. come the day after the rodeo and leave before New Years. It is seriously the cheapest time of year and you can enjoy all of the pretty Christmas decorations the casinos put out (minus the most awesome Christmas tree Caesars used to put out. Damn you Harrah’s for being lazy cheap bastards). As far as escorts that time of year? You might be waiting in your room for the girl to show up a little longer and the pickings might be slim… but they do work 365 days a year.