The Las Vegas Courtesan

I got a call a little bit early after I ate dinner to go to the MGM Grand for a two-girl call to see some Irish guys. Ended up being only one guy getting entertainment so the other girl left since I had gotten there first and seemed to like me better. I was there for an escort agency so I got the fee out of the way and started talking about the tips and what all we could do for the small amount of money he had. Unfortunately we had to stick to lap dances and a hand job.

I started dancing for the guy and he tells me that tomorrow he’s getting married in New York.
I asked him, “As in New York, NY the hotel across the street?”

He replied back with, “No as in New York City as in up north in America… at 2pm. Last night my buddies took me to the Spearmint Rhino and got me tons of dances and tonight is my last night so I wanted something in my room!”

Wow what a traveler and quite a hangover he will be experiencing tomorrow! I pull off his boxers, put on a condom with the lube inside (always makes things work better and feel better for the customers too) and start the fun. After trying for a while he tells me he’s giving up and things aren’t feeling as good since he’s been drinking all night and day. He also mentioned that he is still really sore from those dances he got at the club last night. He starts pulling off the condom with the rag I got for him and he starts making shrieking sounds.
“Oh dear god I’ve done it!” as he holds the cloth to his groin.

I said, “What could it be… I use a safe clean water based lube and you’re not allergic to latex right?”
“No”, he replied, “it’s the bloody dances from last night and my dick was rubbin’ against my belt!” and points to the large eagle shaped belt buckle he was wearing now on the floor.

Ouch… I told him to let me see and he pulled away the cloth to show that indeed there was a really red splotch on the end and up the shaft that was rubbed completely raw. I am sure my performance didn’t help anything at all. I can’t imagine feeling this same raw feeling on my privates on a girl. I am sure his honeymoon will be a sore one!

Yesterday I sat down to write a blog and I drew a blank: its been slow and boring lately so what could I write? Seems like every time I come to a lull in finding interesting stories to post, something crazy ends up happening that same night.

So last night I had a guy who has stood me up once or twice during his previous trips to Vegas call me (only twice before have I been able to actually finish an appointment… but this has been over two years). This trip was not much different and called me up drunk to say he was late by an hour getting back to his room. “Sorry”, I said, “I can’t drop everything after I have already been ignored twice and now you expect me to come see you whenever you feel like it”. He apologized and didn’t call back until the next day and finally met up with him. Seems like this happens with regulars (the few I have); they get comfortable and slack on escort etiquette.

Later on last night I get a call to Terrible’s Casino (if you’ve ever been to Las Vegas and ventured off the Strip you would notice the peculiarly named gas stations that are owned and named after a local family who’s been in Vegas for a number of years) and I was informed it was a big spender guy from the Palms. I had just heard of this client the night before from a girl who told he spent in the range of five figures on a few girls at this agency. What I didn’t know was that he kept asking for girls for 2 days straight. Wow.

I arrived at Terrible’s and met up with a girl named Star while the previous two girls got dressed and left the room. We started talking to him and saw he was fading fast and would pass out tired if we didn’t capture his attention. He had no cash on him and after an hour of trying to figure out what to do we went down to the cash cage to get money from his credit card. Of course they were over their daily limits and the cash cage was unable to do cash advances like other major resorts can (you can get whatever is in your account no matter your daily maximum for a little extra fee). So what was his next big half drunk idea? Go all the way back to the Palms to get his checkbook to cash a check. By this time another 30 minutes had passed so we said heck with it… we’ve been here for so long already it’s worth a shot.

The client gets in Star’s SUV and drives to his bungalow at the Palms. My fear of the situation came true: he would get to his little bungalow by the pool only to give up and not want to cash a check for us to be paid for our time spent and possible entertainment. By this time Star is giving up and another girl I know quite well decided to come by since he still wanted two girls. I took the biggest risk I ever have since I started being in this business: I accepted two personal checks made out adding up to five figures. Wow. I thought either this will work and I will be doing back flips or I have wasted some time with a crazy drunk guy but still wont be disappointed since I knew it was such a gamble. It was verified that the account was valid and funds were there by a phone girl from the service but I don’t trust much of what they say. I took the checks and helped get the guy off fairly quickly by me starting with a hand job and her finishing with a blowjob. This time he didn’t want sex like he did from the other girls and I am glad… if the checks were invalid then it would have been freebee sex instead of something minor like a hand job or blowjob. The other girl also got a check but for half the amount I did yet she was only there for less than an hour. Crazy money.

All in all I was with the guy for a total of 3 hours and the checks cleared today. Simple verification at his bank, 2 forms of ID and me dressing up looking professional and not like a hooker made the check cashing go smoothly. The second girl tried the same method by going to another bank branch, but I am sure her tattoos and oddly placed diamond on her incisor tooth probably sent the wrong signal and had to deposit into her personal account. There was no way that I was doing that since I like to keep the tax man at bay… just glad it worked out though now it seems ridiculous that he got such little entertainment.

So this weekend will go down as the most amount of money I have ever made at one time. I was starting to fret the vacation I had planned next might have to be cancelled since it’s been so crazy slow in town. What will become of the rest of the money? Definitely will be going into my savings….

So last night I originally started this blog at 3am sitting at an agency bored out of my mind, deafened by the silence of the phones, and scribbling words down on my little note pad (not too comfortable taking my new laptop out of its cocoon of my house yet) then realizing that things have really slowed down in Vegas compared to last July. My phone rang right when I was thinking that and had to run off to Treasure Island where I made a decent amount of money. Though I don’t believe in luck… I sure did feel lucky to have that one call.

Anyway, last night aside, it’s been a slow few weeks… painfully slow at times. Even the 4th of July holiday was dreadfully bad. I think I spent more on gas than I made in tips. Recently I saw an article in the newspaper about how gambling profits are down 15% in Las Vegas and MGM Mirage lost something like 30% in their first quarter. First time anything has slumped at all in about a decade. The whole fuel situation with the airlines is causing major issues too since they have cut flights coming into Las Vegas plus the California drivers have been less plentiful this summer unlike previous years. It doesn’t help that people don’t promote bargains here anymore like before, its now all about bigger and better and charging at least $1000 for it.

Last night I went to fill my car up and noticed a girl hanging around the front of the convenience store and could instantly tell what she was up to and was waiting for her “ride”. Another car pulled up when she got into immediately but I guess he was broke and only ended up giving him her number. She hopped out and quickly jumped into another car, which left the station. Guess that guy worked out. All while pumping my gas I thought to myself, “wow, I wonder if the 7-11 lots will become the new ‘track’” Not too long before this trip to the gas station I had been at the Imperial Palace for a call and noticed a high number of prostitutes walking the Strip. Usually girls keep from looking so obvious and stay away from the street due to the officers who stand by watching and pluck girls off the street to put them in their paddy wagons hiding around the corner.

I guess when times get hard you have to resort to things you wouldn’t normally do and suffer the consequences if caught. Thankfully I haven’t resorted to these measures and hopefully wont, though after making $0 two nights in a row, it seems tempting! Nah..

So I have been doing some spring-cleaning during the summer and found it funny that I came across so many room keys that I have collected over the years from working as an escort in Las Vegas. Some I’ve asked for, some I have taken (tisk tisk!), one is from the room I got in this previous blog entry, and one I think I found.

Why do I have so many keys? As fun as an extensive collection sounds (like stamps!), I purely have them to get past security at the hotels that have them guard the elevators. It’s so obvious to stand by a bay of elevators waiting for someone matching the description they gave over the phone (which is almost always a white or black shirt accompanied by jeans) who maybe so prominently drunk or just stupid that they shake your hand and say, “nice to meet you” when I am supposed to be their “friend” and guest. Some hotels are very strict (such as Harrah’s who can even ask for your ID, write it down and possibly run it through a police database) and is almost necessary to steal a key. They change the keys so often because they know girls do this so it’s hard to keep up with them. Thus, why I have multiple copies from the same hotel.

Never have or will I return to the rooms that I took a key from because it’s obviously stupid with the cameras everywhere, and plus… it’s just wrong (yes, I have some sort of a soul unlike what this guy thought). In the end though, I look at them and see a little Vegas history: new clubs, shows gone by, or hotels that have changed names. It’s just one way to look and remember what happened here. Heck, maybe one day I can make a million bucks on them… nah.