The Las Vegas Courtesan

Based on my tweet from tonight, I just had to make a blog post about it because it’s just too funny for 140 characters. I give the guy at least an A for effort in trying English. Here’s how the conversation went down as soon as I entered the room:
“Hi! How are you?”
“Yes how much are you charge”
“Oh Nice to meet you too!” and shook his hand. Nothing bugs me more than people who respond my greeting with a “how much” question. He looked at me like I was crazy for my response.
After asking where he was from in China, I wrote down on paper how it worked: $150 is a fee for me to dance and I work for tips.
“Oh no I think it’s fast food altogether”
“Fast food? Did you just say fast food?”
“Yes, fast food” he pronounced much clearer this time.
“What, fast food like McDonalds? I don’t deliver McDonalds I’m sorry”
“Yes fast food it’s mean make-a love from 14 million”
“Did you just say 14 million?”
“Yes 14 million, long time ago. If you can’t do fast food for $150 the I will be grace you with $5 and you leave”
“$5? You’ll have to do better than that”

He ends up giving me $20 for my troubles and a groping hug, but the crazy laugh I let out the whole way to my car was worth a lot more. Thanks for the good laugh on a slow night! I want to find out where he translated the word sex into fast food.

It’s seems like it’s more rare for me to be asked something new or to have a call go a different way than the many before. I always like the calls that surprise me and break up the monotony of this job (believe it or not it can get quite boring!) I went on a call in the afternoon at Planet Hollywood. The phone girl had a story before I went in. For the record I don’t like story–telling time before I go on calls because that means there is some excuse or convoluted situation that I have to work around instead of an easy “Here’s the info,” now go upstairs and make money.  The story was the guy in the room does not know I am coming and was booked by another friend as I surprise, but the guy who booked left money in the room for me. Left money in the room for me? Where? How does he know what to leave? I’m assuming he only left the company fee in the room and I’m going on a treasure hunt just to find it. Then this creates an awkward situation for me when I have to explain, “Yea that money your friend left doesn’t go to me, I strip for that, anything else you must pay for,” which sounds like a total bummer of a surprise. This whole mental conversation takes note before I ask the phone girl, “Left money for me? Where? Did the friend know how this works?” She says, “He said he’s been to Vegas before and I have no idea about the location of the money.” See, this is why I don’t like story time before calls.

I go upstairs and knock. Guy has a surprised look on his face, but is on the phone when I come in. He finishes his business conversation while handing me the folded piece of paper marked, “Give this to delivery guy.” Inside is the company fee, nothing more. See, this is what I feared! He finally gets off the phone and I said, “Surprise! I’m your delivery!” he was definitely shocked and yet happy (some surprises have sort of panicked and declined.) He said, “My brother said I had a delivery for my birthday, but I had no idea!” He goes to his computer bag and pulls out a card that says on the front, “Open this when delivery guy gets there.” I cross my fingers that some sort of tip is in there from brother-of-the-year. He asks, “Should I open this now? He said to when you got here.” Yes yes YES! He does, and thankfully a decent tip is in there. Brother scores some points for knowing really how this works and not $30 in an envelope. The now shaking birthday boy says, “Man, I need a drink. So I get to have fun with you now, naked?” Yes, and then some.

Here’s the real surprise to me, this whole time I thought the brother was staying in Vegas as well, but in a different room or different hotel. Come to find out he wasn’t even in the US. The brother had stopped by his house the night before and stuffed the card and message in his laptop bag, then informed him of it later. That was one talented planning job, and probably more than any other call before.

I see people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences which includes people with and without disabilities. I’ve seen war veterans who have recovered from severe injuries, people who are physically handicapped, and a even smaller number of deaf or blind clients. People oftentimes ask, “Do any of your clients make an impact on you?” Aside from injured war vets, who always amaze me by what they’ve gone through, one person stands out in my mind. I remembered him the other day: a semi-regular client from a few years ago who has been completely blind since birth.

I saw him a number of times over the course of a year when he would want to come out and gamble (slot machines mostly). Nothing sexual ever happened, and I don’t even think I got naked for dances during these visits. I definitely remember him taking care of me, typically for 3-5 hours blocks over several days to accompany him around town. Normally when people pay just for company, I have to think of transportation; where am I going? how should I dress?, etc. For once I didn’t have to consider hopping in a cab and I actually drove him around in my own car. We usually went to dinner and then I took him shopping wherever he wanted to go. The rest of the time was spent in the room talking about his personal issues — living by himself at home and how he deals with things that we oftentimes take for granted in our everyday lives, like grocery shopping or simply getting around. He really just needed someone to talk to and I felt bad because you could really tell how alone he felt when he was home. Sometimes he got overly emotional during our conversations.

While out shopping or eating, I really started to notice how different life is when you can’t see anything, and particularly if you have never been able to see your whole life. Imagine not knowing what “color” is, what “brightness” is… or darkness. Things that we might use as adjectives to describe something to someone else are limited by only things you can hear or feel. He liked going shopping for nice timepieces because of the way the watches ticked and felt in his hands. I tried describing the faceplates or colors of the armbands or shininess, but this was all unimportant and useless information to him. Most people would be enamored by the way a watch looks, but he liked them for completely different reasons that I would have never noticed before. Even counting cash is impossible if you can’t see. You have to trust that the person who is giving you change is really giving you what is right. I know that in a lot of countries currency has different sized bills or braille to differentiate, but he had a system of folding bills in his wallet six different ways for the six different denominations (I never saw him with a $2 bill). He also liked staying only in hotels that had an elevator that said aloud “going up” and announced each floors. At dinner I often read the menu to him to help him order (and eventually knew what items to skip over that he didn’t like).

And then I had to think of creative ways to “show” him around town. What is something good to hear? Or feel to experience in Vegas? Once I took him to the Bellagio fountains to hear them exploding only to be disappointed that it was a windy day. The more explosive shows were replaced with soft, swaying water sounds. He still enjoyed it.

Though I don’t see him anymore and his numbers have all changed, I used to check in with him every so often to see how he was doing. I couldn’t imagine a world where I couldn’t see or hadn’t experienced color or light before. And what he showed me in his world definitely made me more aware of what I experience in mine.

So I opened up the Las Vegas Sun website last week and saw this article plastered to the front page. Just by the mug shot blaring me in the face I knew it was prostitution/vice related, but when I read the headline a little part inside of me rejoiced! I was glad to see that the county had finally grown tired and caught on to these massage clubs scamming tourists out of money all at the expense of the trust of the local cabbies (which is why Nevada Taxicab Authority got involved). Here’s a previous blog post I wrote about it warning any readers about the huge scam.

At first I was glad about the raids, but then I started thinking about the effects this would have on other legitimate businesses in the industry as well. Over the years the scams the cabbies have pulled on these tourists have echoed throughout people’s thoughts on Vegas. More and more I hear of disappointed tourists and have had more verbally aggressive clients because they never want that same event to happen to them again. All in all it makes people have a soured mood about this town like we are all out to scam people out of whatever money they have. They already feel taken by the blackjack tables and now they can’t even have a good time with a girl without feeling like someone is out to get them. I always try to prove clients wrong that those clubs are different than us, but it’s hard to overcome. I know a lot of phone girls who have to sway the client’s opinion and explain that having a stripper come to their room is a totally different experience.

What I am really afraid of is how the local law enforcement will get the idea that ALL of us are bad. Like the agencies who sell strippers to client’s rooms legally, but the client ends up assuming something completely different because he didn’t listen and thought that prostitution is legal here. They then get upset and report us to police or security because of their own ignorance, and in turn we could all be thought of as a public nuisance. The difference between us and these clubs who were raided is this: the clubs sell men the thought that they are getting something much much more while dancing on the line of soliciting (I’ve heard of some places selling “hand jobs” when in fact they receive a hand massage) when in fact these girls never strip, dance or anything else. The agencies will tell you straight up that prostution is illegal here and the girl comes out for a striptease for a fee. People still read into this basic line and assume something different, but really there are no lines to read in between.

The other businesses that are hurt by these scam clubs? The legit massages therapists, reflexology specialists, and massage businesses. These “sex” clubs operate under several different types of business licenses that are all obtained under false pretenses. Several examples of these completely off licenses that are on paper with the county are: bookstores, art galleries, massage therapy parlors, snack stores, fitness clubs, and reflexology specialists. The real massage parlors and masseuses deal with crazy legal battles just to prove that their business that they want to open will not be a rub and tug joint. I even know of a personal friend who had to deal with months of issues with the county because she wanted to set up some massage chairs in a public area.

During the weekend I didn’t notice any real difference, but had one phone girl comment that calls seemed to be easier to book. Besides the clubs that were named in the article as being raided, I’ve noticed the rest of the sex clubs coming back and reopening, sometimes leaving their open signs off but taxis still are dropping unsuspecting clients off at the front and driving away as fast as possible once they are inside. My hopes is that the local government shuts these places down and doesn’t mess with the businesses that are running themselves properly. They are a real public nuisance and constantly use our tax dollars by calling police or clients calling police *constantly*. These places are constantly held up and robbed, pose a threat to other local businesses nearby, and most importantly gives Vegas a bad name (and even taxi drivers). The local economy has a long way to go to rebuild itself and more negative attention and reputation with the tourists is not what this town needs. This is Sin City afterall! Keep it Sin City and not Scam City.