The Las Vegas Courtesan

I get asked this question quite a bit by nervous guys who feel like they are somehow inadequate to women and figure who better to ask than a girl who sees a lot of penises? I can see their reasoning’s why I might be a good person to ask….

I really started thinking about it when a Chinese guy in his early 20’s struck up a conversation while I was getting ready to leave.  He is going to school in the states for a few years and had observed some things, but was especially concerned about the discussion of penis size.  I think he had seen some pornographic movies since living here and asked, “So white men, they are like this long, huh?” and held up his hands to make a length of almost a FOOT. I almost died laughing watching him try to judge what he thought was the normal size of other men. Then he went on to say, “because I know… Chinese man is very small, huh?” I said to him that I don’t know what he watched or what he was judging it on, but if he was basing it on watching porno movies since living in the US then he shouldn’t be so concerned. I think the men that are in said movies are approximately 2% of the population and since they seem to last longer sometimes (I know they do several shots and takes to make it seem like they come once an hour) I think the size + stamina drops the stats down even further.  Maybe I am wrong, but I very very rarely see men who could audition for some sort of porn movie role.  Sounds crazy but true.

The average client I see has a penis between the length of 4-6 inches. The typical stamina of clients is fairly quick, which goes along with some statistics I read that the average man lasts 4-6 minutes. I think sometimes things last longer, here in Vegas, just because of the amount of drinking and partying that people do and THEN decide to call a prostitute. Usually those people can’t finish or get it up. I can usually tell this is going to happen within the first 2 minutes of starting to entertain a guy. Back to penis size though… I know a lot of people will disagree with my numbers but here’s my theory: maybe men who are significantly larger have more self confidence and they don’t feel the need to use the services of a prostitute or maybe they feel like they have something to prove and won’t use their services.  The one thing that shocks me the most though is the number of men who look like their penis was marred by a bad circumcision.  I see quite a few that point weird directions, come to a small point like a rocket, have super skinny shafts but a big mushroom head or vice versa, and the most painful of all: are hooked almost as much as Gonzo’s nose on the Muppets.

Either way, I hope I dismissed some myths and I know I definitely gave a little more confidence to the Chinese student by assuring him that he was normal and don’t worry about competing with the porn stars.

I am talking about the real deal race cars that will cruise through the streets of downtown Las Vegas and I am sure will create one heck of a traffic disaster for everyone trying to get to court this week (thankfully not me!) Then again, I probably should pay close attention to those road closures since I am sure I will be going downtown for calls at the hotels. Rumor from an office manager at a company I work for said it would be around 100,000 people flocking to Vegas for the race. Hopefully will be a better crowd than the NASCAR fans that come into town for the Daimler-Chrysler 400 race during early March.

The past few days have been super slow and very strangely unpredictable. I did okay for a Sunday night, but last night I had two calls that ended up not panning out to be anything, nor did I have the opportunity to make any cash. My one hope last night ended up going downstairs with his credit card only to not be able to pull anything out due to unknown issues. Tonight hasn’t been going anywhere at all as far as making money. I had called-on early in the afternoon (calling on meaning I call all the services I work for to say that I am ready and available to take jobs) due to last night’s failure and ended up going on a early but small bachelor party call to the Imperial Palace. The other girl showed up just as I was collecting the company fee and we started talking about pricing for a typical bachelor party. The guys said that it was out of their range and then informed us that they wanted to spend $20 each (which would be about $60 total) on us to do a party. The other girl and I exchanged some blank looks since we just explained how a good party works along with typical tipping. Luckily we got to stick around and made a couple hundred each in the end to give a good party to the bachelor. The friends departed the room to supposedly get more funds for us to stay longer and left us alone with the stiff-dicked bachelor. At that time we hadn’t been paid enough each to do sexual acts with him, so we continued to dance. The bachelor gave up his last bit of money and the other girl started rubbing on his dick through his goofy Scooby-doo boxers as I was turned around wiggling my butt while rubbing his leg. I felt his legs quiver and asked, “Did you just…. Cum ?” and looked at the other girl. He shook his head “yes” and smiled sheepishly. I didn’t want to make the guy feel bad, but me and the second girl couldn’t help but giggle quietly when we ran to the bathroom to change and wash our hands. The group of guys finally reentered and said that they only got a wad of ones from downstairs after being gone for so long. By looking at the bachelor’s facial expression, they decided he had enough fun and we could leave. I don’t care if they just had some one-dollar bills… it’s still money, right? Could definitely have gone to use for when I have to tip the phone girl out.

I am thinking happy thoughts for the weekend. Can’t be any worse than it is right now