The Las Vegas Courtesan

So the last entry where I posted an item of what you shouldn’t do with an escort I jokingly said #34. I guess this time I will actually count them in order!

Reason #2: Don’t have your kid in the same room when calling an escort.

Yes, as shocking as it may be, there are idiotic parents who have actually called for a hooker while their child sleeps in the next bed. This has happened to me at least three times in 4-5 years. In fact I think I have had LESS father/older virgin son duos than people who have young children in the room.

One time was a few years ago when a couple called at Excalibur. I went and when I walked in I noticed there was some sort of fort of pillows between the bed they sat on and the next one over. I realized that a little boy and girl between 3-7 yrs old were sleeping in their pajamas behind that fort. I gasped and said, “are those your children?” and they replied “yes” and started muttering some excuse of how they won’t wake. I said there is no way I am endangering myself or them by staying here. I felt like going off on the couple and giving them a piece of my mind to even THINK of doing such a thing but I shut my mouth and left.

There was one other time in between that call and the latest one but it doesn’t exactly come to mind. The latest call was a man who was staying way out on the north side in a La Quinta. When its a good 25 minute one way drive to a hotel from the Strip girls always like for it to be worth the drive and not a waste. I arrived only knowing the previous girl didn’t match the description he gave. The man answered the door and immediately shooshed me and asked if we can talk in the hall. I never talk in hallways just because … well it’s not private. So we stepped back inside where he informs me to keep it down since his 5 yr old daughter is sleeping on the couch in the pitch black room. Yet again I am just as shocked as I was in the previous incident … I said I absolutely will not stay. I would be thrown *under* a jail somewhere if a law enforcement official caught wind of what was going on. What ticked me off even more was the guy lied and said to the previous girl that the daughter was in the next room (like an adjoining suite) but in fact.. she was just on the couch in the same room.

I am sure plenty of other people will be shocked just as I was… parents are sometimes astonishing.

I am shocked sometimes at how immature grown adults can be when it comes to sexual acts! It’s sometimes hard not to laugh, too. I got an email from a lady coming into Las Vegas as a surprise gift to her husband for his birthday. She wanted to also surprise him by having their first three-some experience by contacting me to prearrange the appointment for 10:30 on a Friday night. I set that time aside but their flight was late, they had a prepaid package at Scores Las Vegas Strip Club (which was a waste) and pushed me back until about 1am. I was kind of peeved because this was after all, a Friday night. I finally convince them to go back to their room since she was complaining about Scores so much. After all… I am way more entertaining than a strip club!

I show up (he was shocked at his surprise from his wife), chat for a minute, make sure they pass my tests, and started off with an okay tip. I explain to them that couples tend to cost more because there are, after all, two people involved. They tipped me more to get the business out of the way and we start having fun… well I at least tried to make them have fun. By this time I had been there for 25 minutes. Both of them seemed to whine and bitch every so often because of their experience at Scores earlier and now they are spending more money. Sorry that me trying to give you a blow job and please your wife isn’t better than Scores. I watch them have sex and try to get their mood up, but it was no use. When I looked at the clock, an hour had gone by and I said that our time is up… which was actually almost an hour and a half of total time. The husband sighed and went off to the bathroom and slammed the door. I got dressed and asked her what he was doing. She said, “I don’t think he’s coming out until you leave”. Huh? Until I leave? I kind of shouted out to him “Are you coming out?” and there was no reply. Is this how a man that is almost 50 years old throws a temper tantrum? Unbelievable and hilarious! Some people are never happy, that’s for sure.

Not too long after the event in the last blog entry I went to a call at the Tropicana Hotel by myself and the phone girl informed me it was a couple call. I do entertain couples but my general rule is that I don’t perform oral sex on girls… don’t get me wrong I love girls, I just don’t want to hassle with using dental dam (plus I am sure it doesn’t feel that great anyway). Luckily most couples aren’t interested in that anyway…

So, I show up and there are two guys, stoned out of their mind and they explain to me that it’s their friend’s bachelor party. I was confused, “I thought this was for a couple”, I said. They replied, “Oh it is, they are just in the next room”. The guy and girl come out, one a voluptuous girl and a skinny short guy who is more stoned/drunk than everyone else in the room. The collecting of the fee and discussing of the tips took forever but I was determined to leave with something since my night hadn’t been too great. In the end, the couple and I went to the second bedroom… giving him a hand job while they made out since they didn’t have much of a budget. The whole time the mood was kind of odd and dull but in the end he said it was “awesome”. As long as they are happy, then I am happy! I have to say though, I have never seen so much pubic hair in my life until then. ☺

I am finally home free of my legal battles and so happy for it. I can breathe a huge sigh of relief now, and as my lawyer put it, “now you can start all over again!” It’s sad but true, since busts are so prevalent. The only thing that is left now is getting my records sealed so that I have no public record. After that is taken care of then I can truly be relieved.

So last night I went to a “back-up” call to the Flamingo for a service around 4am. Just to explain the terminology, a “back-up” call refers to a call for a service where one girl or girls picked up the fee but they couldn’t work anything out with the customer. Sometimes the girl acts rude, won’t negotiate her pricing, or he swears after the first girl leaves that he really has money and please send him someone else. Almost all phone girls want to send a back-up girl to try the customer a second time. Their pay solely depends on what the girls tip, so why not? It gives them another try on making a tip instead of it being a “base” call (where only a fee is collected and no one else makes money but the company). Anyways, the phone girl gives me the room number and informs me that it is a backup call and the first girls were rude but thinks I can make it work.

I know by the room numbers which of the hotel’s three elevators I need to take in order to bypass a long winding walk down the hallways upstairs. I walk from the garage past the lobby towards the casino floor. Out of the corner of my eye I see a black girl that looked like a working girl, wandering around the lobby. I walked on across the casino floor towards my elevator when this same girl caught up with me somehow saying, “Hey.. hey there.. excuse me.. oh those are nice shoes.” I slowed down and turned around and looked at her in the face. My stomach sunk as I immediately recognized her under a bad wig: it was the girl who was a part of vice during the bust I was in around Christmas time. When I turned to face her she started asking me, “Do you want to do doubles?” Doubles? What kind of question is that to ask a random girl anyway even if you know she is a prostitute? I said, “Doubles? Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Yea, do doubles together”, she replied.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, I said and tried to have an offended look on my face.

“Oh, are you working?” she asked.

“Working? What? I’m going to my room,” I replied or something along those lines.

She apologized a couple of times and I hurried towards the elevator and she walked off the other direction. Whew… I got up to the room safely. When I walked in I started freaking out in my mind. Not because of the two guys I had to deal with to make money, but the thought of having to actually get out of the hotel. I panicked and couldn’t concentrate on working anything out with the customers. I don’t think I could have worked anything out even if I wasn’t in my frightened state. I had bad pictures going through my head of vice officers waiting for me at the bottom of all of the elevators because they figured out who I was and I wasn’t supposed to be in any Harrah’s-owned casinos. I left the call and walked all the way down the winding hallways to the elevator closet to the garage and went down to the ground level. Coast was clear and I walked as fast as I could to my car. I think my heart was about to flop out.

Kind of a long story but glad it all ended well. I am looking forward to a busy weekend since it’s the Super Bowl this Sunday and everyone has to go to Vegas to bet on the game!