The Las Vegas Courtesan

I guess thats what comes with being more popular. Ah well its worth it in the end when it comes down to business.

So today was the latest prankster from New Mexico who talked faster than anything I have ever heard plus his heavy hispanic accent made me say “huh” and “what” every two seconds. After finally understanding him he wanted to be “friends” with me and talk on the phone. Sorry but no can do. I asked if he was coming to Vegas and he replied with “maybe”. I said when you are for sure and here in Vegas I would love to come see you but until then, I’m sorry I can’t chat on the phone. I come home to get ready for the day and he calls back again saying that he wants to come to Las Vegas but isn’t sure and “how much for a blow job”. I explain that prostitution is illegal and my normal speech and he asked me yet again after that. I hung up. Called back AGAIN and I just made sure he would never call again so I was silly and said I was going to call the cops if he did it again. Heh well it worked!

The funniest call this week? Oklahoma boy with a strong accent calls up on a Saturday at 3pm asking an odd request:
“I would just like someone to come over, wax my eyebrows and talk dirty in my ear”
I could barely hold back a laugh. I said I can definitely do the second request but not the first because well… I am an escort not and aesthetician! He said “well why not? I am not asking for sex I just want my eyebrows waxed and talked dirty to!” Again I repeated I can’t fulfill that request… and he said back:
“Well what kind of entertainer are you?!”
I hung up. I have to say that was about the funniest call.

So this week is convention season galore! March and such is known for the heavy conventioneer traffic plus spring break students (I am not too fond of) and March Madness. This week has been ConExpo (construction guys love hot girls), ShoWest (stage and production convention who also like hot girls) and some other smaller nerdy computer conventions.
Hope tonight is another good one!

Here ya go… my rule #2 of etiquette when calling a girl in Las Vegas

#2:  When you are quoted a minimum on the phone, have it when the girl arrives.

It’s as easy as that! You’d think all of the shopping around and talking people do when trying to find a girl that they would have at least the amount quoted on the phone. Otherwise, why bother? When customers call me to inquire how it all works in Las Vegas I quote them a minimum price to get me there, naked, comfortable and start some dances. Since I am very careful about my choice of words this is all I am able to really solicit legally over the phone. I explain that any other entertainment and time is negotiated in person and in private (I have to make sure that I am not going to be soliciting a vice officer) but if for whatever reason things don’t work out when I first show up.. I leave at no charge to people.

My #1 pet peve is when people call me and say that my minimum is okay and understand what that all entails. Then when finally meeting up with said client, they don’t even have the minimum and want to try to re-negotiate that price. I make it clear and they agree and understand.. then don’t? No girl likes their time to be wasted and you never know when you’ll get a girl who has a short fuse. I don’t but not every girl is nice as sugar and spice.

This is a very important rule! Always be courteous and have the minimum if you schedule an appointment.

I get lots of calls from lots of different people from my web ads. Some nervous and fumbling over words only to get out, “how much?” while others are pompous and act offended that I just don’t incriminate myself over the phone with a detailed menu. Whatever the case may be, here’s a few pointers I am making into a mini-series of entries of what NOT to do when calling.

#1: Don’t book a call many months in advance
This just makes me want to giggle when I get calls in December about some trip they are planning for August. I ask where they think they might be staying or what is the purpose of their trip and they have no clue. Yes, I do think they are just calling to see if there is really a girl in Vegas who is going to answer the phone but sometimes I think the guy just gets so excited they are escaping from whatever torturous town they are living in to come to Sin City and decide to line up a girl *first* before anything else.
Yesterday I got a call from a girl here locally who is a newlywed and “more experienced” than her husband (who is many years younger). She said she wanted it to be a surprise for him for their next years anniversary. I said “Oh when is your anniversary?” she replies, “January 25th or so”. I thought to myself, “oh okay.. in a week which is for their upcoming year” but I decide to make sure and ask, “so in a week?”
“Oh no.. next year.. like 2009”
It took a lot to hold that giggle back. Well, at least she will have time to save for it.

And for your information, the longest time from a booked call to the actual meet up date in person has been 2 weeks, tops. Maybe in other cities pre-booking so far in advance works, but here where people’s attention span goes right out the window the second they land at McCarren Airport.. it just never ends up working out.

Stay tuned for the rest of this series!

I have all of these entries and stories I want to write about but I am having a hard time sitting down and writing them! So I do apologize…

Well I made it through September (which is the second to slowest month of the year… December being the slowest) and October has picked up some but the usual $ isn’t there. Lets cross our fingers!

It’s been a long time since I had a bad call but last week was the first time in maybe a year something happened to me. I don’t want to focus on the negative, but I had 3 Chinese men push me and pull me and ended up grabbing my purse to take the fee back. Thankfully nothing was in my purse or the fee… I had stuffed it in my pants. Thanks to whomever random tourist who had heard me screaming in the hallway came up and scared the guys off of me. I thought it would have never ended. I don’t understand how foreigners think that they will get sex for $100 when I clearly explained things to them. A hundred dollars won’t even get 2 people a decent meal in this town so why would I entertain for $100?

In other news, the infamous Mustang Ranch reopened a few months back. This was the first licensed brothel in Nevada in the early 1970’s but was shut down a number of times due to the owner’s feuds with the IRS. Tisk tisk. A real estate investor bought it and apparently turned it into a nice looking place that even I would like to go visit. You can check out more about the crazy history of the brothel here

Why I was interested in the reopening of the brothel was because I read a book a number of years ago by Alexa Albert that really intrigued me about the whole bordello life in Nevada and it was written while she stayed at the Mustang Ranch to observe. I didn’t live in Nevada at the time nor was I an escort then. It was a peek at a mysterious life and it was written well. I personally couldn’t see myself working in a whorehouse out in the middle of nowhere in the desert for weeks at a time. The house takes half plus you have to pay a little for your room and food. The other reason I could not see myself at a ranch is the girls end up having to do things that I don’t want to do. I don’t let clients perform oral sex on me nor kiss on the mouth and it seems like that is almost a requirement there.  My reasons aren’t because it’s “personal”. It’s for my health, safety and really… I don’t want it. Simple as that.