The Las Vegas Courtesan

I get asked this question quite a bit by nervous guys who feel like they are somehow inadequate to women and figure who better to ask than a girl who sees a lot of penises? I can see their reasoning’s why I might be a good person to ask….

I really started thinking about it when a Chinese guy in his early 20’s struck up a conversation while I was getting ready to leave.  He is going to school in the states for a few years and had observed some things, but was especially concerned about the discussion of penis size.  I think he had seen some pornographic movies since living here and asked, “So white men, they are like this long, huh?” and held up his hands to make a length of almost a FOOT. I almost died laughing watching him try to judge what he thought was the normal size of other men. Then he went on to say, “because I know… Chinese man is very small, huh?” I said to him that I don’t know what he watched or what he was judging it on, but if he was basing it on watching porno movies since living in the US then he shouldn’t be so concerned. I think the men that are in said movies are approximately 2% of the population and since they seem to last longer sometimes (I know they do several shots and takes to make it seem like they come once an hour) I think the size + stamina drops the stats down even further.  Maybe I am wrong, but I very very rarely see men who could audition for some sort of porn movie role.  Sounds crazy but true.

The average client I see has a penis between the length of 4-6 inches. The typical stamina of clients is fairly quick, which goes along with some statistics I read that the average man lasts 4-6 minutes. I think sometimes things last longer, here in Vegas, just because of the amount of drinking and partying that people do and THEN decide to call a prostitute. Usually those people can’t finish or get it up. I can usually tell this is going to happen within the first 2 minutes of starting to entertain a guy. Back to penis size though… I know a lot of people will disagree with my numbers but here’s my theory: maybe men who are significantly larger have more self confidence and they don’t feel the need to use the services of a prostitute or maybe they feel like they have something to prove and won’t use their services.  The one thing that shocks me the most though is the number of men who look like their penis was marred by a bad circumcision.  I see quite a few that point weird directions, come to a small point like a rocket, have super skinny shafts but a big mushroom head or vice versa, and the most painful of all: are hooked almost as much as Gonzo’s nose on the Muppets.

Either way, I hope I dismissed some myths and I know I definitely gave a little more confidence to the Chinese student by assuring him that he was normal and don’t worry about competing with the porn stars.

Sorry I have been neglecting you all. I have been working my butt off practically non stop so I can take some time off and travel to far away lands. I hope to take some pictures and post them along the way whenever I get internet service and stop having fun 🙂   This summer has been a roller coaster of sorts where one night is always different from the next. Well that has always been true since Las Vegas has such a ebb and flow to it but in summers past it’s always been consistent but at a lazy pace unlike the crazy spring time convention season.

September is usually the second slowest month behind December for me. I am sad I will miss the first few days of MAGIC because the fall one is bigger than the spring one but hopefully tomorrow will be more clients from the show. The rest of the month is a good time to take off, I think. Hopefully this September doesn’t turn on me and end up shocking us all at being good. That would be just my luck..

So I have had a lot of people ask me about the Las Vegas economy and how it’s effecting me. I will definitely write a lot more about it in it’s own special post because I have a lot to say. Times are different for sure.

So, typically during the summer time it gets a little slower around town. Families come here for their vacations, the conventions are over, and everyone kind of moves a little slower like your shoes have tar on the bottom of them from the heat of the desert. I’m used to this season after working for several summers now, but this one just baffles me. Since the 4th of July it has gotten slow, and when I say slow I mean like the previous years usual slow months (typically September and December).  I am used to quite a few calls still coming in during the summer but people just aren’t big spenders…. This year? Not many calls at all and the one’s I am getting seem like every excuse in the book is used to not actually follow through with entertainment.

So what happens when it gets slow? Girls get bored and start making risky moves by soliciting in casinos they normally would have been afraid of just because everything else isn’t working out. Who else gets bored? Cops. In recent weeks I have hear a couple of insane stories and for once they weren’t just from dancers. They were from a valet guy at a very prominent high end Strip hotel.  This boredom of the men in black has now turned to the seriously innocent casino workers who struggle to keep their jobs every day and were trying to make a little extra tip money. Supposedly some girls drive up to valet attendants at Strip hotels and ask the valet guys for heads up if “the coast is clear” which to me is kind of silly because that’s really not trustworthy information in my opinion. Either way the word spread to the authorities and they had one of their female officers driving through to the valet asking if the “coast is clear” and if the valet gave the girl any information about a bust going on or not, the attendant was arrested. Right there at his job in front of God and the recording devices. Of course the employee would be fired and probably could never get a job at another Strip hotel again. What would a charge for that be? Aiding and abetting supposedly though it makes no sense because the employee would have no idea for sure what was going on inside of the casino pertaining to a bust or not. I hope they got a good lawyer and even so, that arrest alone would screw up their life. This story made me so mad when I heard it…

I just don’t get how these types of law enforcements are really doing anything for the general safety of the public. It’s a guy working the valet at a casino, not dealing drugs, not stealing and not kidnapping kids. So what is the big deal?

This story is an old one and never had someone give me such an ultimatum before even meeting them. I remember this one the most because I was new to escorting and was really green with clients and what they requested.

I go to the Rio hotel and call up to the room to have the customer meet me downstairs since security always would check keys there. He thankfully answers the phone and says, “Well… did you bring them?” Huh? I am confused and since this horrible company would never tell me what the client wanted or requested before I showed up (they were really terrible at that and made things embarrassing) I had to shyly reply, “Uhm no… I don’t know what you’re talking about”. He sighs and says, “I will ONLY come get you if you have a pair of stockings … don’t fool me if you don’t have them then I will kick you out, you understand? Call me back as soon as you get them and I will come get you” and hangs up the phone before I can say another word.

Unknown to him, he is lucky I have $5 in my purse and run into the gift shop where they have a cheap pair of stockings. I reluctantly buy them (you never know if they will even spend the $5 to recover your losses) and call him back. He asks again, “You have them? I’m only coming down if you do, so you better…” I told him yes and suddenly got nervous. This guy’s tone is more demanding than anyone I had met at this point and it worried me, what if this doesn’t work out?

He comes to get me and we go upstairs. He easily gives the fee and tips less than average for a fetish request but enough that I make things work out. What did he end up only wanting to do? For me to wear the stockings and rub them on his legs while he masturbated. In the end it was easy for such a stern guy from the beginning. Of course looking back on this now being in the business for years, this wouldn’t seem demanding at all… just his attitude made me nervous.