The Las Vegas Courtesan

So I thought I had brought this up in a previous entry but can’t seem to find it and a recent email from a reader brought this to my head and definitely wanted people to know about it and what a huge scam it is. Some people may think that agencies are scams but if you read my blog about agencies in my first timers guide you can understand how they work a little better and not feel ripped off. Anyway this is what Gary wrote to me in an email:

“When I was in a cab. The driver tried to convince us to go to place that he would only identify as ‘HB’ (insisting he couldn’t divulge any further details due to the camera in the car). $150 would get us in the door and another $150-$300 would get us ‘anything we wanted’. We would be allowed to choose the girls, etc. He said it was like The Ranch – but without having to drive to the middle of nowhere for it. I guess what he was describing was essentially a “massage parlor” in LV city limits. Do you think this was all legitimate?”

These places (which the cabbie was referring to Hard Bodies and of course I would never trust a soul if someone wouldn’t tell me the real name of where I was going) are notorious for taking your money and leaving you high and dry. Obviously prostitution is Illegal here and these places play the game against you and making you believe you will get whatever you want but the truth is, prostitution is still illegal! Then they act dumb when you don’t get the services you thought you were getting.

This is what happens in these joints: You walk in, pay some sort of cover charge (that immediately goes to the cabbie who brought you there and he bails once he’s paid), you go in the back and pick your girl, then she goes over their “packages” which you assume are for different sexual acts, and pay anywhere from $150-$1000. You go in the back with the girl, who doesn’t usually even take off her top, and she proceeds to give you a hand and ear massage. That’s it. The customer gets frustrated, pissed, angry, and wants his money back (of course!) but about that time a big security man comes in and literally throws you out because you were wanting an illegal act that they don’t offer. Your taxi guy, who you want to kill by this point, is of course long gone and a new eager driver is ready to take you away from the rip off joint. What does this new cabbie suggest? Unfortunately he suggests one of the legit agencies that sends girls to your room. Why I know all of is because I get to hear about it every time I am sent to a cab referral’s customer who has been to one of these chop shops. This of course now makes my job much more difficult because the agency fee sounds like the start of the scam he just left, and it’s not.

So the moral of the story is? Don’t ever do an “incall” type of service where you are taken to because in the end you will get exactly that.. taken.

Why doesn’t the city or county do anything about it? Because at no point are the girls soliciting sex, you are just foolishly hoping and believing they are selling sexual services. Sadly, in the end they make the customer look like the idiot.

(Oh and by the way, the cameras in cabs are not on constantly like people think. These cameras are only around when a wreck happens and are automatically triggered by a sensor to record the 5 seconds before and 5 seconds after the wreck, otherwise they are not on. So never fear, you can your girl friend can still get frisky in the backseat without worrying about being on Taxicab Confessions)

So you did it! You finally got the courage up and called one of those cards on the Strip a site from the Internet and decided that the fee sounded good and you told the girl or agency to send you someone.  A lot of people are nervous when they have to meet a girl and don’t know what to do or how to act. People are especially worried when the hotel they are staying at requires the guest to have someone pick them up downstairs and show a room key.  Hopefully I can give some good pointers on how you should and should NOT greet your date.

Sometimes when I meet with people downstairs their manners make me cringe and want to hide in a hole. By way of examples, some things you shouldn’t do:

Don’t greet your girl with a handshake

This sounds so obvious but so so many times when I find the guy who I am meeting he sticks out his hand to shake mine. I have to do a polite grabbing of the hand and pulling him close for a hug because I am supposed to “know” this person not just meeting them and going straight upstairs.  It looks so obvious and makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.   What should you do? Go to the girl and maybe give a small hug, or say, “Hi how are you? Did you have fun tonight?” or something else that makes it seem like we know each other.

Don’t ask the girl in a loud boisterous voice, “Are you so-and so!?”

It’s okay to make sure you have the right girl, but keep your voice down and be a little more discreet. Also don’t introduce yourself as, “Hi, I’m John it’s so nice to meet you” for the same reasons as above.  Save the introductions for in the room behind closed doors. There will be plenty of time getting to know each other once you get upstairs.

Don’t ever ever bring up money downstairs

Another one that should be obvious but happens a lot –  If you are confused on fees and such, just take the time and ask the girl in private once you are upstairs your room. This will save a lot of embarrassment for both you and the girl.

If you don’t like the girl don’t make a big scene about it downstairs

If you asked for a tall hot blonde and the agency was foolish by sending you a short Hispanic girl, for example, don’t make a scene about it (especially in front of security at the elevators). Either take a walk with her and explain in a low voice you were looking for a different type of girl or politely take her upstairs and explain. By taking her upstairs you can explain what you want more clearly, and if you feel so inclined, giving her gas/taxi money would be polite as well. Girls just go where they were told to go by the phone girls and usually have no idea what request you gave to the agency, so don’t take it out on the escort. She is usually just as confused or upset as you are, as her time has been wasted too… just like yours has.

One thing you definitely should do:

Give the girl on the phone (when you must get them downstairs) a good description of what you look like and get a good description of the girl.. maybe even change clothes so you don’t look like everyone else wearing a black shirt and jeans. This makes it easy for both parties to meet in a timely manner, reduces any confusion, and most importantly helps keep everything very discreet and professional.

I hope this helps some people when getting a girl in Vegas from an agency or the Internet. It’s okay if you don’t know how things work but understanding these pointers helps a lot so no one feels embarrassed!

And heels.. two good things 🙂