The Las Vegas Courtesan

Got a leather demi-bra and thong set. Believe it or not its quite comfy oh and sexy!

So I’ve seen a bachelor dressed up in an Elvis costume too drunk to know his own name, and a bachelor that was so passed out he woke up swinging at his best friends, but I have never seen this amount of embarrassment or brotherly camaraderie as long as I have lived and worked in Vegas, and for some odd reason two of the three parties were British. All three of these parties by the way, occurred within two weekends:

The first party was at the Hard Rock, the guy who came downstairs to get me and four other girls (yes, 5 of us, and we all were not too pleased about the number of girls) , was a super nice guy from London and took us right upstairs and immediately gave us the crazy expensive company fee. In the next room were 12-14 loud, unruly Brits who apparently were all broke but wanted their friend to have the best time, just don’t embarrass him too much. Since we didn’t get tipped much at all upfront, we did a quick pile up dance on the bachelor and got him down to his boxers like we all normally do on bachelor parties. I noticed his silky boxer briefs had a photo of himself on it with the words, “I’m With Tim” underneath the photo. I laughed and said, “How cute did your friends make you those?” and he said, “Yes, actually…. HEY EVERYBODY DROP TROU AND SHOW THEM!” I turn around to see 12 guys at attention, all simultaneously unbuckling their pants and pulling their pants down. I felt like I was in a movie watching the synchronized pants-dropping, but sure enough all of the guys were wearing matching boxers with their buddy’s picture only 3 inches away from their own package. They must have practiced this moment together back home because they seemed to chime in   “Yea! Cause we’re with Tim!” I almost died laughing.

The second party, and I think the most funny, was also a group of British guys staying on the strip. I show up and due to some misunderstanding by the phone girl and best man, I am the only girl and there are 12 of them. I quickly explain to the best man 4-5 guys can stay but since they were in a bit of a hurry and on a tight budget, I couldn’t get another girl there in time. Since there were only a few guys chipping in they did what I said, paid the fee, and had enough of a tip for me to do a quick show for the bachelor. This is when the best man informs me of what the bachelor was wearing UNDER his pants: remote controlled, vibrating, black thong underwear. I giggled and wanted to see this for myself. Sure enough when I got him undressed in front of his friends, there was a vibrating thong that barely covered anything. The buzzing of the vibrator kept going off as his hysterically laughing friends kept mashing on the buttons of the remote from the couch. The bachelor nervously giggled and tried hiding what he could with his hands. I only kept this public humiliation up for a few minutes since he obviously wasn’t having fun trying to hold himself into the tiny thong. Luckily the best man tipped more so he could have more private time sans thong.

The last party was a tame group of guys staying in a suite. The best man/brother of the groom apparently was a rookie at planning bachelor parties and had gone online to order a bunch of party supplies, but ended up getting all of the items a bachelorETTE party would have. This usually entails of anything and everything with a penis on it. You’ll see these girls parading up and down the Strip with their penis straws and blinking penis necklaces. So I guess the brother went online and didn’t see vagina shaped supplies so he figured the penis shaped items would be okay instead. I almost died laughing when I saw these exact slippers on the floor. In the bathroom was toilet paper with sex positions on it and on the bar were penis shaped cocktail stirrers. The girl with me could not stop giggling which was contagious for me and I couldn’t stop. The best man didn’t get it until we explained what the penis items are REALLY for. He said, “Well, I couldn’t find much else!” I’m sure he’ll be better prepared the next time he helps throw a party.

So I have mentioned scams that happen in Vegas, but more and more recently I have heard of girls who have been scammed, or attempted, through their ads online nationwide. I know this has been going on for a number of years because I received one of these funny calls years ago and smelled a rat before it even got to the point that they asked me for money. Recently the calls have been picking up again and just now received and email from a reader who unfortunately fell for their tactics.

The call goes something like this, a rude and impatient man calls claiming to be a VIP casino host who only deals with big rollers claims to be calling from one of the major casinos in town. He tries to offer a deal a girl just can’t refuse. Large amounts of money for several days with said client (sometimes throwing out a celebrity name or professional sports team) in exchange for signing some sort of waiver that says that I will not spill the beans to the media about said celebrity client. This is all meant to make the girl believe that this is some serious, real deal going on. I never got past this point because I would never give anyone my real personal information, and more obviously, I would never oust myself to any media outlet just because someone was a celebrity. I am discreet and would only be hurting myself to try to blackmail someone just because of their “status” in society. I usually get rude back at them and hang up…

What’s their point behind all of this? Eventually the “host” ends up asking girls for money as some sort of deposit to hold this too good to be true client, or told that it’s an application fee and they will be chosen after review. I hate to hear that girls have fallen for this and have no idea how much they have scammed out of but remember this rule: NEVER pay any client or so-called host to see a client. You provide your services for a fee, you don’t pay someone to hold a client. Whatever money they offer, it’s too good to be true and move on. Also, never give someone your real identity to see said client. Your personal safety and well being are far more important than whatever they have to offer. So, be careful out there girls and ignore these scammers!

I tried recreating what it may look like after a client pays for full service but I have to wash up a bit before getting to a *real* shower. Soapy!