The Las Vegas Courtesan

I Am A Sorry Las Vegas Resident: I Didn’t Show Up At The Nevada Caucus

So I lied the other day and said it was slow here in Vegas. I just *thought* it was slow then! Friday night proved to be a chorus of crickets chirping and I ended up hanging out with some friends later on in the night which I regret now since I missed Saturday day and night. I also ended up not getting my butt out to the Nevada caucus at 11am due to… well I probably couldn’t drive.  Shame on me. All of the harassing phone calls by Hillary Clinton’s and Barack Obama’s campaign and my local precinct organizer didn’t pay off because really… Saturday morning was a dumb time to have a caucus in Las Vegas. Really. They should have had it at 7pm on a Monday or something. By that time we have all sobered up from the weekend, people who have regular jobs during the daytime can go and the night owls should be awake by then. Simple plan! If that was the time then I am sure 90% of residents would have been there! Make it 100% if you add a cash bar with martini’s poured by our randy Mayor Oscar Goodman and some bar nuts. Bingo! Biggest turn out in *America*

I had actually considered showing up drunken and in slutty clothes but that would have been a $20 cab ride from where I was. I figured that would have been very Vegas and American of me to show up in that condition… but alas, I don’t think I would have been able to stand it. Cast a vote drunk? Yes… Stay for a caucus thing that takes more than 5 minutes? No…. that’s too much drunken effort.  Well I definitely will be present in November.. and with bells on.

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